Slow Bullets: A blog site by novelist John Rachel

Monday, December 30, 2024

Happy New Year! (from Japan) | John Rachel

Ten years ago, I wrote a song that I call my “holiday greeting to the world”. I played all of the instruments and my wife and I performed it in my modest home recording studio. Then I made a video.

Since then we have seen humans plunge into more violence, more brutal inhumanity, death, destruction and suffering.

I wouldn’t change a word of what I wrote back then. In fact, its message is more vital and timely than ever. We need to embrace one another in what unifies us as a species, not destroy one another over differences which in the grander scheme of things are irrelevant, if not petty.

As we approach 2025, may I wish the best year ever for you and those you love!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGXsZ3BsWjs

By the way, ’akemashite omedetou’ means ‘Happy New Year’ in Japanese. Here are all of the lyrics to the song:

1st Verse:

It’s a very special time of year / For family and friends holiday cheer / For those no longer with us / We shed a tear / A time to share / A time of feast / A time to care / And pray for peace / A time to give to those who have the least

Chorus:

Merry Christmas? / Happy Hanukkah / Peace be with us / Happy New Year

2nd Verse:

This is the time to start anew / Atheist Christian Muslim Jew / To reach within and find the love inside of you / Discard the old seek out the new / Reject the false embrace the true / To look ahead decide to bring out the best in you

Choruses:

Merry Christmas / Happy Hanukkah / Peace be with us / Happy New Year

Akemashite omedetou / Peace be with you / Happy New Year

Merry Christmas / Happy Hanukkah / Peace be with you / Happy New Year

[ This originated at the author's personal website . . . https://jdrachel.com ]

Happy New Year! (from Japan) | John Rachel

Sunday, December 29, 2024

Life In Japan: Christmas Season . . . Osaka

I read the other day that to serve some twisted notion of “inclusivity” and political correctness, a country in Europe has officially discouraged calling the Christmas holidays ‘Christmas holidays’, instead recommending ‘Winter celebration’ or some variation on that.

How odd! I won’t even get into the absurdity of this example of the culture war mentality or the arbitrary havoc wrought by cancel culture. It’s odd to compare this mentality with what is commonplace here in the East.

Christmas display in Beijing.

As I’ve written about before, my experience living and traveling Asia, has been that Christmas is celebrated with sheer enthusiasm and unabashed fervor in places like Japan, Vietnam, Thailand, South Korea, China, even Cambodia.

Santa arrives in Cambodia!

None of these are close to being Christian countries. They are basically Buddhist. And China, Vietnam, and Cambodia are COMMUNIST COUNTRIES. Yet, their godless populations openly embrace the Christmas festivities, seeing nothing contradictory or offensive.

Christmas in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam.

Granted, these celebrations are basically secular, sans mawkish religiosity. Hey! What’s new? Christmas is in America and much of the West just an orgy of spending on gifts, excessive amounts of food and libations, and piling on glittery decorations. Santa is not a religious icon, and I don’t remember seeing Mary and Joseph, votive candles, and frankincence at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, which officially kicks off the Christmas season. Visa and Mastercard each had a float.

Japan does Christmas in style. This year we went to Osaka and two floors of the huge Hankyu Department Store were Christmas themed. There was every holiday gift item from all over the world there.

[ This originated at the author's personal website . . . https://jdrachel.com ]

Life In Japan: Christmas Season . . . Osaka, Japan | John Rachel

Sunday, December 8, 2024

What Do Mermaids Eat? . . . Deehl

Posted on December 6, 2024 by johnrachel

Deehl was very quiet. Finally she said …

“I’m kind of shy.”

Hmm. What could she be shy about? I tried to second guess her.

“You speak English perfectly!”

“I haven’t said much … but thanks. That’s very sweet.”

“Just stating fact.”

“Hmm. I don’t want to confuse you. But …”

“But what?”

“Just because you hear English doesn’t mean I’m speaking English.”

That’s all she said.

I really had to think about that. I still do, as a matter of fact.

I studied philosophy in college. What she pointed out refers to the paradox of perception. When I see the color red, is it the same color — meaning the actual color that appears in your vision — as you see?

Maybe I’m in truth writing this in Chinese. But you see it on the page and read it as English.

So … to those of you who want to know: Do they speak English?

All I can now say is: That’s a very good question!

What I do know is that mermaids are very smart. And at least the ones I met — with a few exceptions — are phenomenal cooks!

Do you want to hear more about my unique adventures? How about having your own copy of my book?

As I mentioned before, the ultimate deluxe full-color paperback is available for a limited time — sale extended until January 2nd! — for 25% off the regular price . . . order it here directly from the printer.

By the way, this stunning fantasy/travel/cookbook is also available as an ebook, in the format of your choice . . .

JUST DO IT!

[ This originated at the author's personal website . . . https://jdrachel.com ]

What Do Mermaids Eat? . . . Deehl | John Rachel

Wednesday, December 4, 2024

What Do Mermaids Eat? . . . Chif

“Chif. You are stunning.”

“I love that word. It can be taken a couple different ways. Am I a stun gun? Are you a drooling lump spread eagle on the floor? Have you lost control of your body fluids?”

“I … I … well …”

“Word is you haven’t said anything like that to any of the other mermaids. Why am I single out for flattery, John? I know you’re happily married, so you’re not coming on to me. But … I am … I am … black! Really really black! You had to let me know that in spite of that, I passed with flying colors. Yes … I’m stunning!”

“Hey! It’s not a racist thing. I’m color blind.”

“None of you top-siders are color blind. It’s something you haven’t yet and maybe never will evolve beyond. You’ve got your flags. Gang colors. School colors.”

What could I say? She was right.

My only question is: How do they know so much about us? How do they manage to figure out things about us that we can’t? From watching our movies and browsing on a smart phone for a couple weeks?

Maybe this stuff is so obvious, so in our face, we look right past it. It’s hiding in plain sight!

It’s always a journey of discovery to see ourselves through the eyes of others. So imagine what it’s like seeing ourselves through the eyes of MERMAIDS!

There’s a lot more where that came from. I met 23 mermaids in all. If you want a real walk on the wild side, check out my book.

The ultimate deluxe full-color paperback is available for a limited time (special sale has been extended to January 2nd) for 25% off the regular price . . . order it directly from the printer.

Plus, this stunning fantasy/travel/cookbook is also available as an ebook, in the format of your choice . . .

BLUB BLUB!

[ This originated at the author's personal website . . . https://jdrachel.com ]

What Do Mermaids Eat? . . . Chif | John Rachel

Sunday, December 1, 2024

“Mermaids” Special Sale Extended till January 2nd!

My publisher, Literary Vagabond Books, is swept up in the holiday spirit . . .

The special sale on the deluxe print version of What Do Mermaids Eat? has been extended! Again!

This large-format, full-color book is truly stunning! And more importantly . . . IT’S FUN!

Buy a copy for 25% off the regular price direct from the printer HERE.

Or buy a copy for 25% off the regular price from Amazon . . .

Of course, it’s also available as an ebook, in the format of your choice . . .

I’m a little biased. But I can’t think of a better way to put a few more smiles in your holiday season and ring in the New Year!

Mermaids are so lovable!

[ This originated at the author's personal website . . . https://jdrachel.com ]

“Mermaids” Special Sale Extended till January 2nd! | John Rachel

Sunday, November 17, 2024

How Did I Arrange to Meet the Mermaids?

Understandably, people want to know how I connected with the 23 mermaids I met. Of course, running into Corinne was a fluke.

It was late — 2 or 3 am — and I was returning home from a bar/restaurant on Anjuna Beach in Goa. I had been dancing and making new friends, but finally exhausted and ready for some serious sleep, was heading back to my guest house. I was of course alone.

I saw something writhing on the beach ahead of me. A beached porpoise? It was dark and hard to make out what it could be.

As I approached it stopped moving. I pulled out a small flashlight and pointed it.

There was Corinne.

She asked me to keep her “secret”. I did. I didn’t take her photo, looking vulnerable and afraid there on the beach, then post it on Twitter. A couple days later, I showed up at her vacation condo and that was the beginning of this unbelievable adventure.

Now what I’m going to tell you sounds like something a crazy, third-rate author would make up. But sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. It’s so cliché, yet so zany … could I even make up something like this?

From that day forward, whenever I planned to visit some seaside resort someplace in the world, all I had to do was put a note in a bottle, just like the one at the top of this page, and throw it in the ocean.

Then wherever I ended up, a note would either show up at the reception desk of my hotel, or be slipped under my door, telling me the whereabouts and time to drop by. I would go and voilà! There would be a new mermaid, either making me an incredible meal, or opening a can of SpaghettiOs. I have no idea how they found out where I was staying, or how the note to me got delivered. It just happened.

Like I said, all of this sounds like a fairy tale — or a big fat joke — but this is how it went.

It only failed on two occasions, in Kailua-Kona, Hawaii and Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. I don’t know what happened — maybe the bottle got swallowed by a blue whale or sucked into an intake tube of a luxury liner — but I never heard anything.

So that’s my story.

Curious to learn more about these beautiful creatures from the deep?

As I mentioned before, the ultimate deluxe full-color paperback is available for a limited time (until December 2nd) for 25% off the regular price . . . order it directly from the printer or from Amazon.

Additionally, this stunning fantasy/travel/cookbook is also available as an ebook, in the format of your choice …

If you act immediately, it’ll be there in time for Thanksgiving. Then you have a choice: Watch football on TV for 12 hours or . . . dive into the fantasy world of exotic mermaids!

[ This originated at the author's personal website https://jdrachel.com ]

How Did I Arrange to Meet the Mermaids? | John Rachel

Friday, November 15, 2024

Life In Japan: “Sasayama Mary”

Meet Sasayama Mary!

Yes, she’s a cat-woman. Or is it woman-cat?

How did this happen? Very interesting story indeed!

Sasayama Mary was a very popular and successful fortune teller. As her success mounted, those around her became envious and spiteful. She found herself abandoned. When her best friend turned on her, it was the last painful straw. She became depressed and withdrawn, not sure where to head with her life.

Then attending a Halloween costume party changed everything, She went to the party as a cat. As she mixed among the guests, the smiles of delight were evident. She was making people happy! It felt good to again be accepted and to spread some joy in the world.

Thus, Sasayama Mary, the feline celebrity of our sleepy little town, was born! Currently, she only appears in public as a cat and can be seen anywhere and everywhere around town.

Masumi reminded me that we originally spotted her at our Dekansho Festival. I remember seeing her but just assumed it was another person dressed up specifically for the occasion, a common practice. But no, this was Sasayama Mary, doing her thing.

How we officially just met . . .

We had guests last weekend and were sitting in the store of our friends, Keiko-san and her husband Yatsushi-san, when in strolled a human-size cat! To put it mildly, I was surprised … amazed … delighted!

Sasayama Mary sat down with us and we got acquainted. Meow!

About the folks in this photo, starting bottom right and going clockwise: Of course, first is my wife Masumi. She’s a public school music teacher, phenomenal piano player and opera singer, is currently studying cello, drums, and ballet. Then there’s Sasayama Mary. My wife loves cats. Maybe that’s why she’s sitting next to her.

Coming around the circle, there’s yours truly. My Facebook Profile says “I can balance a Boeing 767 on my nose while I dance Swan Lake. I see hope where others see soap.” That’s really all you need to know about me.

Next are Yatsushi-san and Keiko-san. They are genuinely amazing people. They have built over thirty schools in Bangladesh. In the background of the photo, you can see pics on the wall of some of the hundreds of students they’ve helped with their education.

Next lady is Yoko-san, married to Gary-san. Yoko used to work for the World Bank. Through her contacts, she was able to arrange a huge grant for Yatsushi’s and Keiko’s NPO, funding the construction of at least five schools in Bangladesh. Finally, her American husband, Gary, is a poet, philosopher, political writer, formerly a teacher.

It’s certainly true that the tiny city I live in, Tambasasayama, is a quiet, traditional, rural town. But don’t think for a minute, it’s only farmers and rice fields we have here. Some rather unique and interesting people live here and come to visit. Does your home town have a cat-lady?

By the way, Sasayama Mary has an Instagram page. It’s truly a walk on the wild side. Check it out!

[ This originated at the author's personal website . . . https://jdrachel.com ]

Life In Japan: “Sasayama Mary” | John Rachel