Shameless Self-Promotion – Part 2

To put it mildly, with all of the hyperbolic hype, million dollar advertising, sensationalized news, wars, political machinations, terrorist attacks, celebrity scandals, hyperventilating talking heads, and widespread anonymous screaming going on out there these days, it's very difficult to get anyone's attention.

Let me be candid . . .

My last shameless self-promotion fell flat on its face.  No one was moved by my lugubrious plea to give my personal Gross Happiness Quotient a much needed boost by buying dozens of my brilliantly entertaining novel as holiday gift.  Indeed, I got up every single morning, faithfully checked the New York Times Bestseller List, and frankly was day-after-day quite shocked to not see it debuting in the Top Ten.  Just yesterday I finally called the Times to suggest there must be some mistake, but for technical reasons got disconnected.  My line must have been crossed with another call because I distinctly heard laughing before the connection went dead.

Anyway . . .

The only conclusion I could draw -- since my Shameless Self-Promotion - Part 1 is without any question so persuasive it probably should be registered as a WMD with the NSA and Department of Homeland Security -- is that no one saw it.  Like thousands -- more like millions! -- of extremely vital and noteworthy announcements, it was brutishly swept up and swallowed by the tsunami of nonsensical infotainment being upchucked in copious excess in our world of digital delirium.

So . . .

What can I do?  How can I cut through the cacophonous roar and have my message heard?

 

I sat for hours pondering this.  I was so totally absorbed by this conundrum, my new cat, Arthur, used me as a scratching post and I had to throw my sweater away.

Then I remembered a phenomenally effective promotion I used back in L.A. one summer to get my indifferent, drug addled, me-generation friends to attend a pool party!

Back in those wild and crazy Hollywood days, I had put together a invitation mailer with a pic just like the one at the top of this page.  In bold letters was this message:

Attend my party or I'll shoot this dog!

The turnout was spectacular!  I felt loved and respected, people ate all the food and drank all the beer, wine and mixed drinks I provided, and the life of the dog was spared.  What a smashing success!  I assure you, everyone was talking about my Encino pool party bash for weeks afterwards -- well, at least a couple days or until their hangovers abated, whichever came first.

So!

The ball is in your court, readers.  You're all incredibly brilliant people, or you wouldn't be here at this website.  Just finish this sentence and know deep in your heart where it truly counts, that you stepped up, stood tall, felt the love, and did the right thing:

Buy my book or . . .

And we're not just talking dogs here, folks.  It's not just about the whole messy business of dog brains and fragments of canine cranium scattered all over the yard.

We're also talking $$$!  Meaning, saving $$$ big time!  And what timing!  This excellent bargain arrives just when your out-of-control holiday extravagance has the limits on those credit cards being bludgeoned like Conor McGregor's sparring partner!

Dig this!

Just for the holidays, ebooks of The Man Who Loved Too Much - Book 1: Archipelago are specially priced at only $2.99!  Does it get better than that, my loyal and gullible chums?

This adventure in credulity and shock wave to literary sensibilities is available from all of the usual suspects.  You can even walk into your favorite local book store, and after giving you an enigmatic smile, the clerk can order a copy -- if it's not already right there behind the counter with the nudie magazines.

---

 

The Man Who Loved Too Much - Book 1: Archipelago

Amazon (Kindle) . . . amzn.to/1tyIRiw
Amazon (Paperback) . . . amzn.to/1z8F8aD
Apple iBooks . . . apple.co/1nkebQx
Barnes & Noble . . . bit.ly/ZDnQVO
Kobo (Indigo) . . . bit.ly/1Og3q8g
Kobo (US) . . . bit.ly/2qSmc0J
Powell’s Books . . . bit.ly/1mxVXtS
Tower Books . . . bit.ly/1oyzU7T
Smashwords . . . bit.ly/1w62HOX
Direct from printer . . . bit.ly/1r6qWYQ

Poor Billy Green! When he was just turning four, his father tried to throw him in the trash.  He was a smart kid but that just seemed to create enemies.  His darling mom did everything to protect him.  But this was Detroit, armpit of the wasteland!  Catholic school didn’t help much, except the time he got his first kiss from an atheist nun.  Home life was dismal.  Was his father capable of anything but drinking beer and farting?  And what was with that neighbor who made puppets and tried to molest Billy?  Golly!  Detroit was sucking the life out of him.  At such a young age.  Then adolescence swirled around him.  Like water in a toilet bowl.  High school was a B movie.  Only without a plot.  So finally he did something about it.  Billy ran away … to college.  Cornell University.  That was a good move for sure!  He studied hard, lost his virginity, met the love of his life.  Things were definitely looking up!  What could possibly go wrong?


[ This originated at the author's personal website . . . http://jdrachel.com ]



Shameless Self-Promotion – Part 2

The Man Who Loved Too Much Trilogy

Hard at work on "The Man Who Loved Too Much" in 

Pokhara, Nepal ... May 2009.

I confess to being schizophrenic.

There are two distinct personalities co-existing in this one John Rachel.

One is the political, driving my skewed commentary on world events ... often resulting in death threats.

The other is the artistic, inspiring my work as a novelist. This often results in ... more death threats.

Hmm.  Am I doing something wrong?

In any case, everyone can breathe easy. This is not a political rant.

In fact, it's a celebration!

Six years ago, while living in Nepal and India, I wrote the initial draft of The Man Who Loved Too Much. Gosh, I was proud, hopeful, ecstatic. Much work and many long hours went into this patently semi-autobiographical tome, which weighed in at over 800 pages.

Like the clueless and naive apprentice that I was, I sent my masterpiece out to hundreds of publishers and literary agents. The unanimous reaction was that it was too long! Too long? Maybe I should have called it The Man Who Wrote Too Much.

Understandably, I was both confused and disappointed. The Bible is more than 800 pages and look how well it has sold!

I went into a self-destructive death spiral of anxiety and depression, tragically resulting in my suicide __ asphyxiation by immersing my face in an iron pot full of dal bhat.

Ha ha ha!  Just seeing if you were paying attention.

Actually, I put the book aside and wrote five more novels, hundreds of political blogs __ apparently my appetite for death threats is insatiable __ three screenplays, a number of songs, carved my initials in a bench at a city bus stop, sent out over 6,000 Tweets . . . and changed the banner on my Facebook page three times. Wow! Talk about being productive. I'm so impressed with myself!

Anyway, my lovely wife and I were camping through Europe a couple summers ago, when I was gobsmacked by an epiphany. Our tent was pitched outside of Bern, Switzerland, and I was floating on my back in the cold Alpine waters of the Aare River . . . when it hit me.

The Man Who Loved Too Much should be a trilogy!

Yes, I would take that monster the size of the New York Manhattan phone directory and split it into three. With a blessedness that would rival the Trinity in the greater scheme of things, people would then flock to my inspired words.  Surely these novels would kick the Bible itself out of first place as the best selling book ever!

As they say, the rest is history.

Six years.

My trilogy is complete.

When sending death threats, please attach a $100 bill.
_______________________________________________________

 

The Man Who Loved Too Much - Book 1: Archipelago

Fellow lovers of literature! Here we begin the story of Billy Green. With all of the swell advantages of growing up in beautiful Detroit, Michigan . . . what could possibly go wrong? Aren't you maybe just a little bit curious?

Darn . . . I know I was.

And folks, because I genuinely believe in the power of impulse, there's no reason to postpone a decision you will always regret. This epic faux pas is available NOW!

Apple iBook … http://apple.co/1nkebQx
Amazon (Kindle) … http://amzn.to/1tyIRiw
Amazon (Print) … http://amzn.to/1z8F8aD
Barnes & Noble … http://bit.ly/ZDnQVO
Kobo (Indigo) … http://bit.ly/1Og3q8g
Smashwords … http://bit.ly/1w62HOX
Direct from printer … http://bit.ly/1r6qWYQ

__________________________________

 

The Man Who Loved Too Much - Book 2: Entendre

The Billy Green saga continues! Billy’s challenging, sometimes humorous, sometimes tragic, always unpredictable journey.

Our boy from Detroit was more determined than ever to find meaning in life and comfort in love. He failed.

Admittedly, this is the darkest of the three books.

Available from all of the usual suspects! 

Apple iBook … http://apple.co/1P29tDl
Amazon (Kindle) … http://amzn.to/18x1ZnS
Amazon (Print) … http://amzn.to/1xfmjp3
Barnes & Noble … http://bit.ly/18OGY85
Kobo (Indigo) … http://bit.ly/1OS86XB
Smashwords … http://bit.ly/1AMUCPz
Direct from printer … http://bit.ly/1Du7Esh

_______________________________________________________


 

The Man Who Loved Too Much - Book 3: Oxymoron

How do we function in a world which is both as randomly and intentionally cruel, as it is randomly and intentionally kind? Can we make sense of our lives when so much around us makes no sense?

In this, the final book of the trilogy, we find out what it means to be a "man who loves too much". 

Even more importantly, we discover if Billy Green is such a man.

Whew!  Heavy stuff.

Apple iBook … http://apple.co/1W9y6gF
Amazon (Kindle) … http://amzn.to/1LJnMcX
Amazon (Print) … http://amzn.to/1NZPU9Y
Barnes & Noble … http://bit.ly/1fvzxXD
Kobo (Indigo) … http://bit.ly/1mL5zld
Smashwords … http://bit.ly/1LJnRgJ
Direct from printer … http://bit.ly/1K07Yzy


[ This originated at the author's personal web site . . . http://jdrachel.com ]

When You Wish Upon A Star

 

Wow!

Very grateful!

Humble . . . flattered! 

As of today . . . all 5-star reviews!

No, I didn't buy them! 

The Man Who Loved Too Much - Book 1: Archipelago is available at fine 
book stores everywhere and of course online . . .

Apple (iBook) . . . bit.ly/1ycltFD 
Amazon (Kindle) . . . amzn.to/1tyIRiw 
Amazon (Paperback) . . . amzn.to/1z8F8aD 
Barnes & Noble . . . bit.ly/ZDnQVO 
Smashwords . . . bit.ly/1w62HOX 
Direct from printer . . . bit.ly/1r6qWYQ 

Here are excerpts from the reviews (read them in their entirety on Amazon) . . .

"I really liked it! Very quirky and clever writing! The characters grab you right 
away, take hold and you can't wait to see what happens next. The only problem 
is that the book ended and I have to wait until March to find out what happens 
next!"

"Young Billy Green is one of the unforgettable characters in literature, the kind 
that comes around, moves in, stays, and occupies a place in your life. Is it Billy 
Green, or is it John Rachel's ability to tell a good story? It is both. The story is 
epic in its scope. . . A wonderful, unforgettable read.

"I read this book in an afternoon and then pondered it for several days. It's
hard to exactly pinpoint, but there is an incredible level of intelligence in the 
development of the main character Billy. He seems naive in some ways, yet in 
other ways you see that he is anything but! It's this rich complexity that keeps me 
still analyzing Billy long after I read the last page. I am anxiously awaiting the 
second book.

"Billy Green stole my heart. From his earliest days his dear mother loved him 
with a love so deep you could put your arms around it."

"I laughed uproariously, and then I cried. You will be begging for more. Voila! 
Your wish has been granted. This is the first part of a trilogy which follows Billy 
until he's twenty-eight. Part Two is coming soon."

"This is written by someone who uses words so masterfully; who employs satire
at its finest, can get downright dirty if life dictates it, and appears to have fun with 
it all."

"John Rachel's characters are awesome! I am an avid reader. Sometimes it takes 
awhile for a book to "lure" me in. Not with this novel though. I was "hooked" from 
the very beginning. I can't wait for the next two installments to find out where it 
takes Billy."  

"John Rachel delivers another masterpiece with the style and insight only 
John Rachel can deliver!"

"This is a wonderful coming-of-age story that will grab you and charm you. 
Just read the first few pages and it'll pull you right in. If you like Salinger, you'll 
love this. It's that great theme of a kid who knows too much for his own good in 
world populated by so-called adults who control the machinery. GREAT STUFF! 
A real pleasure to read."

"A friend of mine who knows that I read science fiction an adventure
books, suggested I read this book. At first I wondered why. This is the
life story of some kid named Billy growing up through Catholic school,
getting his first blowjob, Life love parents, all the usual problems we
all have. What was different though is the author . . . because the
author is an exceptionally good writer that creates a witty, clever and
imaginative world for Billy to grow up in. You will be charmed with
Billy and his bold and sassy way of dealing with the bumps and grinds
of life. And you will wonder why this book only cost $.99, because it
is written as well as any bestseller out there."