I’m not worried … yes, I am … no, not really … well, maybe a little.

 

The prospect of Donald Trump being elected president in 2016 doesn't worry me at all.

He would be assassinated by the shadow government within 90 days of taking office.

Uh-oh!

That would mean that whatever half-wit buffoon -- the bad clone on the ticket as his Vice-President, an even worse version of Mr. Trump himself -- would now be in charge.

Would the self-declared-above-the-law slime balls in the CIA risk a "double-header" by taking out in such short order whatever unfortunate fool now sat in the Oval Office?

Of course, they would!  Accidents happen.  Fish bone stuck in the throat at a state dinner. Falling down the steps exiting Air Force One, splattering brains all over the tarmac.

The American public is so gullible.  No worries!  Problem solved.

But wait!  This time the shadow boys push things too far.  People are not just suspicious. The lights go on.  They figure it out!

"This is bullshit!" becomes the meme of the day.  Only it lasts for months and months.

And citizens are armed to the teeth!  Over 300,000,000 firearms in private hands.

Really scary!

Revolution anyone?

Naw . . . just one incredible made-for-TV shootout!  People dropping like flies.  Everyone starts living under their beds.  No one is safe anymore.

Hmm.  Anymore?  When is the last time we felt safe?

 

Who was president back then?

Millard Fillmore?

Frankly . . .

I'm a little worried.

How about you?




[ This originated at the author's personal web site . . . http://jdrachel.com ]

Donald Knows Best

 

It's obvious why everyone loves Donald Trump. He's saying the right things and people finally have someone speaking their minds. He's spewing the ignorant, hateful, ill-informed, and entirely irrational stuff a lot of folks have been thinking but were too embarrassed to say themselves.

Hillary's handlers have her saying the right things too, but there's a reason why she is not resonating. Everyone knows she's a pathological liar, a political chameleon, and a self-aggrandizing opportunist. And those are her pluses. It goes downhill from there. Just like her recent poll numbers.

Granted, Donald Trump isn't the sharpest needle in the haystack.

But the office of president is a team effort. Thus, what Grand Canyon-size deficiencies the master of the comb-over might bring to the job can readily be offset by making the right Cabinet appointments.

Thus, I've taken the liberty of putting together the Donald Trump dream team. They all coincidentally are named Donald, which in a twisted way assures absolute transparency. Whatever flashes of genius come from this synergistic partnership as they lead America into a new age of peace, love, harmony, respect, and national pride, we'll always know:

"It was Donald's idea."

Here we go . . .

 

Donald Sutherland: Secretary of Bible Studies. I don't know where he stands politically __ he's probably another closet Communist like 99% of those Hollywood liberals __ or what his religious inclinations are, but look at that beard and hair! My goodness, it's enough to make Moses twitch with envy.

In terms of credentials, did you see him in MASH?

What a cut up!

 

Donald Rumsfeld: Secretary of Known Unknowns. This probably comes as a surprise. But considering the other appointments and being entirely objective about President Trump himself, I truly felt his administration needed some sex appeal.  Granted, at 83, Rumsfeld probably seems like an odd choice, given the availability of Donald "Donny" Osmond. But the fact is, Rumsfeld who was literally a sex god during the George W. Bush presidency is still living up to his libidinous image with the ladies as "yummy Rummy" __ even as his evident decay accelerates. Hey, what can I say? Like the expression goes . . . Some people have just got it, baby!


 

Donald O'Connor: Secretary of State. So many of our politicos are accused of dancing around the truth. Well, here's a guy who can really dance!  Who can forget his sensational make-'em-laugh routine in "Singing In The Rain"?

Granted, this phenomenal talent has been dead for over a decade. But this is actually an advantage. He won't be able to wreak as much chaos and destruction, or further destroy America's reputation in the world, as his recent maniacal predecessors. Besides, even dead he has more charisma than John Kerry.


 

Donald Duck: Secretary of the Treasury. Okay okay. I'm stretching it here. A cartoon character? Actually, when it comes to things like the debt ceiling, the responsibility of shaping a coherent budget, the U.S. honoring its financial obligations, abiding by international law, or just handling the press, 'duck' seems to be the operating word.

Besides, after having Timothy Geitner as Secretary of the Treasury, and watching all of the other Wall Street crooks sucking up to the Obama administration, it will be refreshing to have someone looking after our nation's financial interests who comes with no nasty baggage.  Name one major scandal involving Donald Duck, and I'll send you my entire collection of Kajagoogoo posters.

 

Yo! MC Donald: Secretary of Education in the Popular Arts. Here's a guy with a real solid rap sheet. Successful entrepreneur, acclaimed and respected nutritionist, great role model, loved by the whole family, an all-around good guy. Beyond putting a smile on reporters' pouty little pusses during press conferences, his is the sort of "public face" America needs today across the globe to offset its standing reputation as a warmongering rogue nation. And how can you not love this man? It has been rumored that based on the enormous success of teaching Ebonics in the public schools, this forward-thinking adviser to President Trump will be introducing "Beginning and Advanced Rap" into the curricula of all federally-funded school districts. Every student will receive a free rhyming dictionary, plus a 75-watt signature Kanye West beat box will be provided for every class room.

Admit it.  Isn't this what makes America great?  Everyone else in the world takes all this political stuff WAY TOO SERIOUSLY, whereas here in the U.S. we know that it's all just a TV sitcom, merely another way to market more stuff, an ever-abounding assembly line of products we never knew we needed until we saw them on television and in YouTube ads.

Which, by the way, includes a phenomenal selection of Donald Trump tie clasps, charm bracelets, t-shirts, action figures, and bronze busts for the mantle or dining room table.

Don't wait until it's too late. Once Trump takes the oath of office, the price of this stuff is going through the roof!



[ This post originated at the author's personal web site . . . http://jdrachel.com ]

Hillary’s Secret Campaign Strategy

 

We have learned from a deep source at Hillary Clinton presidential
campaign headquarters, of a highly controversial, certainly
mind-boggling, but sure-fire plan which will clinch the 2016 election
for her. When it finally becomes public, this secret strategy will
consign all the nay-saying skeptics about her viability as the first
female president in American history, to eating vast quantities of
humble pie. 

Right now, of course, since no one knows of the plan, there's a wide range of
opinion and speculation in the media on her chances. Will she run? Will
she make the same mistakes she made against Obama? Can she walk the fine
line between appealing to the traditional Democratic base and raising
the money she will need from Wall Street and corporate America? Is the
country ready for a female president? Is the country ready for Hillary? 

But her innovative new approach undercuts all of this.

The idea is as revolutionary as it is simple.

In 2016, Hillary Clinton will be running for president on both the Democratic 
and the Republican tickets.

Yes! I know it sounds unbelievable.

But it's true.

She will make appearances at both conventions. A special secret poll of select
campaign consultants and political scientists predicts she will easily
garner delegate majorities at both events __ probably on the first round
of balloting __ to secure the nominations.

My source further explains that to make this a viable strategy, the canny 
Ms. Clinton will have two different vice-presidential running mates,
probably Kirsten Gillibrand for the Democratic ticket, and  
Megyn Kelly for the Republican.

Just think about that! All-female tickets running for president and vice-president 
via both major political parties.

Talk about a watershed moment in American history!

Stepping back and thinking about it, Hillary's running as both Democratic and
Republican candidates goes a long ways towards explaining some interesting
recent developments.

While her sewing up the Democratic nomination has for quite some time been 
a foregone conclusion, Ms. Clinton has, to the surprise of many observers, been 
wooing and gaining the support of many wealthy conservatives as well. Her openly 
coming out as a bona fide member of their "team" as the Republican nominee just 
makes sense.

Let me add that beyond being a brilliant tactical maneuver just in terms of sewing
up her future role as president, this unprecedented move is also a tremendous
leap forward for democracy itself, which has come under a lot of attack in 
recent years.

Voters complain they've had a great deal of difficulty trying to figure out the
differences between the policies and positions of candidates during the
long campaign season. Despite the rigorous scrutiny and tortured
analysis by experts across the entire political spectrum, quite often
it's hard to figure out what anyone stands for. This uncertainty has
evidenced itself as voter apathy. Confused voters stay home on election day.

By running on both tickets, Ms. Clinton will eliminate the petty bickering 
and political posturing, and more importantly the contentious nitpicking by
the media, which has only served to undermine candidate credibility
among voters and erode their confidence in our electoral system.

Another enormous benefit of Ms. Clinton's strategy is that with the election
in the bag, she won't have her time and energy squandered by all of the
distractions and foolishness that goes into presidential election
campaigning __ like interviews and televised debates.

Instead she can devote the entire time right up to taking the oath of office,
honing items which will be the hallmarks of her presidency: bombing Iran
and Syria; nuclear wars with both China and Russia; tripling of the
size of America's military contributions to Israel so that they can
finally put the wily Palestinians in concentration camps where they
belong; wiping North Korea off the map; building at least 1,000 more
American military bases around the world to protect everyone on the
planet from ISIS, Ebola, socialism, Putin and whatever other apocalyptic
threats might come along; mounting a Special Ops invasion of Moscow __
ala the Osama bin Laden assassination __ to capture Edward Snowden; and
burning down the Ecuadorian Embassy in London to flush out Julian
Assange.

She should be able __ as they say __ to really hit the ground running in January 2017.



[ This originated at the author's personal web site . . . http://jdrachel.com ]

The Bully Pulpit vs. American Idol

I have long criticized Obama for not using the bully pulpit. When he had the vast majority of the country at his feet after his election in 2008, instead of laying out a positive vision for the country and leading the charge for rebuilding the nation, he embarked on a charm offensive directed at Wall Street, big banks, neoconservative empire builders, and became the Appeaser-In-Chief towards those responsible for the Afghanistan and Iraq disasters, a wink-and-nod apologist for the criminal bankers who crashed the economy in 2008, and a card-carrying member of the inside circle who continue to inflict our country with the fraudulent War on Terror.

It was all in the name of love __ the cuddly love Obama craved from the oligarchs, whose approval was more important to him than the enormous groundswell of support he had from the people. Remember them? The ones who have to work to make ends meet, the ones who see their kids off to school in the morning __ the same ones who flocked to the polls and elected our first black president, duped into thinking he was one of them, a man of the people with their best interests at heart.

In a fascinating analysis of Obama's presidency that appeared in Truthdig, author David Bromwich
discusses what a shallow and self-serving enterprise it has proved to be.

What an understatement.

There is no coherency to this president's policies. In a clear attempt to promote image as a substitute for substance and apparently with an insatiable desire to be loved by everyone, President Obama often fashions positions totally at odds with one another.

Protect the environment vs. drill baby drill.

World peace vs. bomb bomb bomb.

Individual freedom vs. the NDAA.

Jobs for Americans vs. TPP and TTIP.

To add insult to confusion, in critical areas of leadership, we see policies diametrically opposite to the high sounding and noble words of Obama's breathtaking rhetoric and crafted public image, offering inconsistencies, even outright hypocrisy and treachery.

You've got a Nobel Peace Prize winner who has become a drone assassin.

You've got an putative constitutional scholar who using his phenomenal intellectual gifts to trample on the Constitution, squashing dissent, and openly harassing journalists and undermining freedom of the press.

You've got a president who spoke eloquently during his first campaign about inclusive democracy and transparency in government __ promising to change the way Washington DC does business __ who has built upon the worst aspects of Bush's nascent police state and now oversees a vast growing domestic surveillance complex spying on its own citizens, who is classifying record volumes of government documents, restricting citizen access to the inner workings of our government, conducting questionable military adventures often in secret, fostering aggression against the express will of the American citizenry who are sick of war and the self-defeating politics of confrontation, and prosecuting well-meaning whistleblowers at an unprecedented rate.

You got the self-declared "environmental president" who refuses to even attend the Kyoto summits, who is promoting risky East Coast and Arctic drilling, nuclear power, fracking for natural gas, so called “clean coal”, and now boasts about America being the number one oil and gas producer in the world __ so much for concern about climate change.

You've got a man who offered the world the outstretched hand of peace in the first months of his presidency, who has since bombed his way into creating more enemies and hatred for America than ever before in our history.

But we get what we pay for. Obama is just another brand, like Cheerios and StarKist Tuna.

We wanted a great president. We got a rock star.

We desperately needed leadership. We got self-aggrandizement.

I will say this. Obama talks a good game. He is incredibly articulate. Charming. Funny. Always gives an Oscar level performance at all of his public outings.

And he is beautiful . . . his wife is beautiful . . . his family is beautiful!

But when presidential elections are run as beauty pageants, talent contest spectacles, when making history is just more reality TV, we can't expect real leadership. We can only expect a president who struts and works the audience, plays the judges, postures and poses for his fan base, puts on dazzling, crowd-pleasing shows, and soaks up the all the love he can get. We certainly can't expect thoughtful, principled stands on the vital issues, responding to the greater needs of the country and serving the general welfare of the public.

There's no business like show business.

And politics has become American Idol.

We no longer look for results. We look for good ratings.

What an epic disappointment. We certainly had high hopes, didn't we?

There is one thing I will concede. Who can deny it? . . .

He sure looks great in a suit and tie!


[ This originated at the author's personal web site . . . http://jdrachel.com ]