The Ultimate Punctuation Mark

Language and grammar are dynamic; ever-evolving; adapting to new usage, current trends and fads. There’s no reason to pass judgment on this, as many academics and publishers of dictionaries might presume to do. You can’t set language and punctuation in stone any more than you can declare that the sun will shine every Monday or outlaw oxidation.

Do you remember the interrobang?

While it didn’t really catch on, it did address a gap in our ability to have a final punctuation mark reflect the entire mood and intent of the language that preceded it. It’s a combination of a question mark and an exclamation point, allowing a statement to both act as a query and express awe, amazement, excitement, marvel, wonder, approval, acclaim, shock, and so on.

What in the world is going on with the Catholic Church and organ trafficking?!

Now, I should have been able to put an interrobang at the end of that exclamatory question, but as I said, it didn’t really catch on. At least, I can’t find it on the keyboard of my laptop.

The point is, as useful as something might potentially be for language and grammar, it’s actually impossible to dictate use and guarantee general acceptance.

So now I’m about to attempt the impossible.

Yes, I’ve come up with a new punctuation mark!

And without intending to blow my horn, bring undeserved attention to my genius, or capitalize on your gullibility as a reader of my articles, I’d like to say unequivocally that this innovative punctuation mark, aside from any other merits it might have, completely and thoroughly sums up the current mood — fear? despair? cynicism? resignation? — of a huge segment of the people living on the planet, the ones who have some idea what a horrible mess we as a species are now in.

Here it is . . .

Does it look familiar? It should.

An important question: Will it be useful?

A more important question: How long will it be around?

Maybe a better question to ask: If my new punctuation mark really does work, really captures the zeitgeist of our troubled times, how long will we be around to use it?

(Sure wish I had that damn interrobang on my computer. I could have used it at the end of that last question.)

[ This originated at the author's personal website . . . https://jdrachel.com ]

The Ultimate Punctuation Mark | John Rachel

Just a little . . .

 

Language is a funny thing.  It admits for all sorts of sins.  At the same time, it offers lush alternatives when making and rationalizing important decisions.  Naturally, we like to hedge our bets, walk a fine line.

We always cover our asses. 

At the same time . . .

Can you be just a little married?
Can you be just a little pregnant?
Can you be just a little upside-down?
Can you be just a little vaporized?
Can you be just a little raped?
Can you be just a little castrated?
Can you be just a little dead?
Can you be just a little extinct?
Can black be just a little black?  If so, what's the rest?  Still black but not black?
Can white be just a little white?  Is the part that's just a little white still white?
Can a 'yes' be both 'yes' but just a little 'no'?
Can a 'no' be both 'no' but just a little 'yes'?

Despite the headache you might now be experiencing, often there's more at stake.  Every game is a thing but not everything is a game.

In these instances we need to be a little more precise . . .

s war inevitable?
Is war good or bad?
Does might make right?
Are all humans created equal?
Is good health a basic human right?
Are food and water basic human rights?
Does a woman have the same rights as a man?
Can an individual be owned by another individual?
Do property rights take precedence over human rights?
Can any man claim life or death authority over another man?
Does the law of a higher power take precedence over human law?
When a person surrenders autonomy to the state, can he take it back?
Is freedom a natural and absolute fact or an artificial and relative artifact?
Are citizens answerable to governments or governments answerable to citizens?

How about this? . . .

Can humankind survive if there's a limited nuclear war?

Assuming we're in favor of the survival of the human species . . .

How much nuclear war is just the right amount?

Humans are very smart creatures.  We know this from telling it to ourselves all the time.

 

So to figure out how much nuclear war the "good guys" should inflict on the "bad guys", factoring in the carnage that will inevitably be experienced by a number of people who don't precisely fit in either the 'good guy' camp or the 'bad guy' camp -- these indeterminate types are sometimes called 'collateral damage' or more descriptively 'innocent victims' -- using cost/benefit analysis and predictive models, we can fairly accurately determine exactly what level of nuclear war, rationally looking at the big picture, is most efficacious and productive.

You know . . . the right balance.

Fine tune it.  Don't go overboard.

Just a little . . . nuclear war.

Is my sarcasm showing?

 

It's easy to scoff at my asking questions like these, then commending them as some sort of pseudo-philosophical exploration.  You might judge this as a thinly-disguised exercise in self-promotion, an attempt to portray myself as some deep thinker.  You might feel my frustration and empathize with my isolation and relative impotence, yet still dismiss all of this as the nonsensical ruminations of a confused and deluded faux-intellectual -- a Jean Paul Sartre wannabe.

You might have decided that this whole business of blogging is an unflattering display of infantile neediness, that the urgent, aching lust for attention, which has lingered on from early childhood, being unflattering and obnoxious even back then, but now nauseating at best and infuriating at worst -- I'm not sure I can put up much of a defense against any of these insinuations -- is both pathetic and pathological, in spite of being a common feature of our selfie-driven, self-obsessed times.

Or more innocently . . .

You may think that I have way too much time on my hands.

Frankly, I think time is running out.

Granted, some of the above are mental exercises.

But others are arguably very important questions.

Existential questions!

Am I so off-base?


We need answers!

Do you have the time?

Just a little?




[ This originated at the author's personal website . . . http://jdrachel.com ]



Just a little . . .