Showing posts with label naked ping pong. Show all posts
Showing posts with label naked ping pong. Show all posts

Saturday, July 28, 2018

Creativity: Two Existentialists Walk Into A Bar . . .



Professor Phyllis Dornberger – my PhD thesis adviser – and I certainly had our share of disagreements.  About everything.

I could have been intimidated.  I mean, here was a lady who read the dictionary on her lunch hour like it was People Magazine.

But I was confident and stood my ground, with naïve posturing that was equal parts youthful impudence and iconoclastic exuberance.

Dornberger was a logical positivist.  I'm an existential relativist.

It should have been no contest.

Indeed, it wasn’t.

Yes, in the end, she got the best of me.  The price for my impatience, my lack of self-control, my smug display of tactlessness, my colossal tactical faux pas in the requisite art of jockeying for advantage – which is really all philosophical discourse is about anyway – was asymmetrical in the extreme, with no room for negotiation, no room for remediation, no recourse or appeal.  Philosophers don’t mess around.  Especially logical positivists.

My comment was innocent enough.

But what floats frivolously in casual repartee bubbles like the caustic acid of vitriol and mockery on a
page – especially an intra-departmental memo.
What can I say in my defense?

Too much bubbly spirits is sometimes a good excuse.  But in this case, a roll of duct tape with the Kölsch pale ale would have helped to mitigate my infantile error in judgment.  Hindsight is so powerful but ultimately useless.

I now know . . .

I never should have called Professor Dornberger an insatiable proof sucker searching for the perfect syllogism, if only she could figure out how to deep throat a syllo.

Yes, this was the shameful closing scene of my career as a philosopher . . .





[ This originated at the author's personal website . . . http://jdrachel.com ]





Creativity: Two Existentialists Walk Into A Bar . . .








Monday, July 11, 2016

The Hands-Down Ultimate Super-Bowl of Showdowns!

Avengers Captain America 

Hey, fight fans.

Here it is! 

The one you've been waiting for.

It's going to be the battle of the ages!

Nothing like this has ever occurred in the history of the world.

Yes, folks . . . it's a showdown that will reverberate till the end of time!

No, they'll never stop talking about this head-to-head clash of the greatest titans EVER!

Are you ready to rumble?!! 

Have you got your seat belts fastened?

Are you wearing your rubber diapers?

In this corner, coming off two decades of undefeated combat with environmentalists and eco-scientists, teary-eyed tree huggers, Al Gore, and other addled acolytes of Gaia . . .

CLIMATE CHANGE!

And its opponent, veteran of decades of terror struck into the hearts of citizens across the globe, a warrior whose very name brings vision of untold desolation and suffering . . .

NUCLEAR WAR!

Which one will leave the battle, its opponent curled up and writhing on the edge of death, humiliated, beaten, savaged by the overwhelming power and cunning of the competition?

Remember . . . This is a fight to the death!

Chaos 

What's at stake?  Ha!  This is not some girlie-boy contest, a phony reality show, another froofy sport like hot-oil wading pool arm wrestling, three-legged gymnastics team dancing, or naked Ken and Barbie ping pong.

This is serious business, lades and gentlemen!  As in . . . DEAD SERIOUS!

Only one of these ferocious fighters will lay claim to the ULTIMATE TITLE, and be able to say with the blood lust pride of a true warrior, a barbarian who embraces no moderation, a heartless amoral killer who knows no rules, feels no compassion, and has no conscience: 

"It was I who destroyed the human race!"

Will it be Climate Change turning the Earth into an uninhabitable pile of dust, dead fields of dried withered stalks, rotting corpses, extinct species, desiccating trees and shrubs -- a barren wasteland where cockroaches frantically run wild looking for something to eat?

Or will it be Nuclear War turning the Earth into a radioactive pile of dust, dead fields of dried withered stalks, rotting corpses, extinct species, desiccating trees and shrubs -- a barren wasteland where cockroaches frantically run wild looking for something to eat?

OH YEAH, BABY!  This is going to be truly awesome!

So stay tuned, folks.  Watch this battle AS IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT!

And remember.  You can only get it here, exclusively on . . .

The Apocalypse Channel!

Apocalyptic Ending


[ This originated at the author's personal website . . . http://jdrachel.com ]


The Hands-Down Ultimate Super-Bowl of Showdowns!