We are overjoyed at our recent success in getting Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
banned from a Philadelphia school district. This overrated piece of
racist trash by the self-indulgent literary hack, Mark Twain, deserves
to be consigned to lining the bottom of a bird cage.However, we are now privy to additional previously undetected attempts to subvert all of us, particularly the youth of this country, actually recruiting them while they're young and impressionable into the ways of "gay sex" -- though to be quite honest about it we can't figure out how persons of the same gender rubbing their private parts together is in any way joyful.
Look at any biology book. What is the human species called? Homo sapiens! Well we really need to ask: If we're HOMO sapiens, how did there get to be more than 7 billion of us? The council recently recommended that this term be replaced with hetero sapiens -- as God intended it.
There are related sneak attacks. How about 'HOMOgeneous'? Right! They slipped that in when we weren't looking! The council is now deciding whether to replace this hideous bit of deviant brainwashing with either 'sameogenous' or 'uniformogeneous'.
It's not just in the classroom that our children are being seduced into the evil cults of buggery and carpet munching.What do they drink every day during lunch? HOMOgenized milk! Can you believe this? These perverts will stop at nothing! The council recommends replacing this phrase on all labels with the pleasant-sounding and benign 'blendogenized milk'.
This conspiracy has spread like a silent disease through our whole culture. What about the word 'ANALysis'? Pretty clever, eh? The council is in the process of replacing this hideous subversion of God's perfect plan for proper sexual behavior. Leading the alternative terms currently under consideration are 'examinalysis' and 'cogitalysis'. We'll keep you posted.
Here's one for the books. This bit of slime nearly got by us. What are apartment units which are sold for personal ownership called? CONDOMiniums! Can you believe it?
Granted, it's pretty clever. Now personally, I'm for these fudgepackers covering their junk however they can -- never know who's standing next to you taking a wiz in the public john -- but I sure as heck don't want to be reminded of the sick shenanigans that goes on using these love gloves every time I drive down the street. Now every time I see one of "those" buildings, I can only picture rooms brimming with gallons of sperm.
There are countless other examples we could share. This press release, specifically timed for the most sacred holiday season of the year, is just to let all you good, God-fearing folks out there that we are, and certainly will continue to be, on the job stamping out decadence and perversion -- particularly this new trend of "same sex" coupling -- wherever we find it.
Remember . . . PC doesn't just mean Politically Correct. It also stands for Personal Christ!
God bless you and God bless America!
[ This originated at the author's personal website . . . http://jdrachel.com ]
Press Release: National Council on Political Correctness
